I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
