I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
