You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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