so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
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Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
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