sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
