I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
