And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
