Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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