It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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