I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
