chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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