By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize