Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
