dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
