what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pants are for mortals
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
