so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
