Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
