Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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