I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My dick has a subreddit
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
