Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
handjob tips. give me some.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
