Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
