I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Jerry, you need to find god
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
