turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
