I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
