Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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