We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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