I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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