Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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