I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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