seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
