If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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