he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
