I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
