Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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