I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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