her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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