White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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