Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dick very happy bro
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
