Don't make out with my wife yet
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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