White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
