fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
