And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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