Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize