I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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