but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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