You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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