You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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