I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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