yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Randomize
