I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
