Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
