how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
