i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
