You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
