vagina is talking i cant
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
