I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
