so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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