so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
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all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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