I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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