everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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