you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
