Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
this hospital has no fireball
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
