Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
