He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
where are my eyebrows?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
