She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
