i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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